Working with what I see in the mirrors.

As I mentioned before, I consider every experience in the outside world to be somewhat of a reflection of my inner reality. I noticed that when I really want something to change in my life, it generally that means there is something that I really want to change in myself but I just haven’t noticed yet.

Here are 3 things that I see in the mirrors of life experience and I would like to change : bad or ineffective communication, a feeling of not being invited and wanting more money.

Communicating.

In the last few weeks I have met several people who don’t seem to be that good a communicating. I don’t know if this is true or not, and to be honest it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, what matters is that I perceived it. That perception is giving me some valuable insights into what’s going on in my inner world. I perceive that these people are not able to be completely open and comfortable about expressing their feelings. It’s not that they are dishonest or ill-meaning, it’s just that for some reason they aren’t comfortable, or not able to be totally honest.

I figure that this means something important. If I am recognizing this weakness in other people then this is likely to be one of my greatest weaknesses at this time.

Now I know this I am now on the lookout. I am committed to keeping a close watch over my thoughts and feelings and I am going to make a point of being open and completely clear about my feelings at all times from now on.

When I want something I am going to ask for it clearly and accept other people’s response entirely. Whether or not I get the answer I wanted, I am here to deal with it ! That is what life is all about.

Not getting invited.

The other day I was climbing a hill in Los Angeles to see the sunset, and thinking about this situation when I had met and a pretty girl in a bar a few days before. I was recalling the situation and asking myself how I had felt. My conclusion is that I felt like I wanted her to invite me into her world. I felt slightly frustrated that she didn’t. Then it hit me : if she was interested in me then there is a pretty high chance that she was having similar feelings.

The to improve on this is simple: start doing what you would like the other person to do. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world” ! In this case I need to start inviting people into my world ! I need to open up and share ! The times I have done it it’s been amazing, so “why not do it all the time?” asks the mirror...

Money.

So I want more money, that is the feeling. I decide to look further and ask myself : what for ?

I want more money so that I can buy a couple of things (a new laptop, some plane tickets), and also so I don’t have to think about having enough money to sustain myself in the future. Why do I not want to think about the future? Because I don’t have a crystal clear intention that is driving me in a specific direction. If I did, I would be busy creatively finding ways to get there and I would not be worrying about it.

OK, how can I organize all this information in a way that’s useful to me?

Let’s take a closer look at the approach I used when talking about being invited :

In terms of money, what do I want from the world, that I can bring to the world - right now?

Step 1 : What do I want ?

I want a constant flow, an abundant supply that I trust will fulfill my every need and give me a sense of comfort and security.

Step 2 : How can I bring this to the world ?

By adopting a definite purpose !

Adopting a definite purpose will make me focus on the present and knowing that I am committed to this entirely provides a strong sense of inner security.

I came to terms with this thanks to a book I am reading at the moment called “What I wish I knew when I was 20” by Tina Seelig. She explains in one of the later chapters that “trying is a cop out” either you do something or you don’t do it. And “trying to do it” is an excuse for not doing it !

If I have a crystal clear intention of what I want to achieve, then I will have the drive, I will bring a constant flow of energy into the world every day, my motivation will be abundant and endless, I will not doubt it unless I doubt whether or not I want the things I am chasing.

The Recipe for getting the most out of the mirrors.

So this is the step by step process I have come up with for dealing with messages I get from life’s many mirrors :

Work out what you want.

Identify what you dislike / want to change. Then re-word it into what you want, what experiences you are after !

Work out how you can give what you want to the world.

Work out how you can “be the change you want to see in the world” !

Do it !!

Dont "try to do it" (that’s an excuse for not giving it everything you’ve got), either you do something or you don’t do it (excuses or no excuses), decide what you want and DO IT !!

Comments

Anonymous

Reply #5 on : Sun January 22, 2012, 06:46:52

Hi
Thanks :).
Just wanted to be more precise about this : if my number one priority is about what I want to be, it's not something I can 'have'.
So, when I said aiming higher, I meant something like this example :
If, for example, my number one goal in Life is being happy (and more but that would follow). I can look at my Life to make it happier everyday. After a while, I would notice everything falls into place and, yes, I feel quite happy.
By aiming higher, I could also check my happiness in deeper levels, different kind of situations, etc... Like waiting for administrative appointements, filling papers, cleaning the house,... anything which could not bring me loads of happiness.
And so on.
So, I don't know if this example shows what I meant by 'never achieving' one's goal.
In other words, it's looking at everything to be more happy, in a most complete way.
And doing so, I suppose one would get more from Life ! If I'm able to be more and more what I want to be, I can only get more from my Life.
Is that what you also meant by genuinely seeking happiness ?

Rob

Reply #4 on : Thu January 19, 2012, 19:27:31

Hey Anonymous !
Thanks for you for your nice comment !
Yeah for sure finding your number one goal and giving it top priority is definitely the most important thing we can do. I find that once that is happening the rest just all falls into place... There are many "traps" that can prevent you from doing it tho such as "trying to do it" for example. And yeah goals are temporary things, what we want one day does not keep us moving once we have it, so for sure aiming always higher very important but it tends to happen naturally in most people who genuinely seek happiness I think.

Reply #3 on : Mon January 16, 2012, 16:46:48

Hi :)
This is an interesting article again !
And what seemed really interesting to me is this :
The mirrors you are talking about are mirrors of who you are, or I should say, mirrors of some sides of yourself.
It seems to me that these sides don't really matter if there are not what you want to be.
I quite agree with the fact that knowing what you really really want makes Life easier and providing what you really need.
The mirrors are about who you are and they affect the things you have or you don't have, both material and unmaterial things. Aren't they ?
So the really important thing of you article is : being the change you want to see.
If you have a cristal clear idea of what you want to be, then you would know what you want to do and Life would give you what you really need because it knows what you need to achieve what you want to be, maybe better than you.
What your article tells me is : first, finding out what you really want to be and making it your number one goal in Life.
Then, trusting what is happening as long as this number one goal is here.
And always looking at what you can do to 'never achieve' this goal ;). I mean, looking at ways to make your goal brighter and higher.
Well, in fact, it's what I do in Life. So, it's the mirror I saw in your article...
But mirrors are made to reflect light again and again, I thought it would be worth sharing.

Reply #2 on : Sat January 14, 2012, 22:50:30

Yes, it's not always easy to know what you want.
I would agree that that is the most challenging things in life. But I feel like when you find what you really really want, that is also what you really need.
Sometimes we can't see how or why it's what we need, but I feel like if you trust that it'll work out and go for it then the rest will take care of itself.
And the fear of failure has immobilized me before, but the frustration of not doing something because you didn't dare is much more painful than the pain of trying and not succeeding.
So I reccomend trying and forgiving yourself if you fail. That is the choice I make. If you fail, at least you tried. And your free to try again and again !!! Overcoming fear is not easy but it's possible. You just have to "kick your own ass into motion". That's my perspective . . .

silvia

Reply #1 on : Tue January 10, 2012, 17:37:33

"decide what you want and do it"
it's not easy
sometimes the bigger problem is not knowing what you want
sometimes what you want is not what you really need...
sometimes the fear of failure immobilizes you

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