Tools for developing Confidence and self-esteem.

You need to believe in yourself. Confidence, your self-esteem is what you show others. And it is what determines how you interact with the world. If you are not confident you will miss opportunities, you don't enjoy the good things that you already have, and you probably won't make the best of the situations you find yourself in and the challenges you are faced with.

There are many ressources that give ways to build your self-confidence available but I find the following very simple facts to be most helpful in developing self-esteem and confidence.

Here is a key piece of knowledge :

Confidence and trust don't come in stages.

Either you are confident or you are not confident. Either you trust or you don't trust.

I find that knowing this makes the choice for confidence and high self esteem easier. Why ? Because it is a yes / choice and there are only two possible answers rather than an infinity.

Another interesting to realize is that confidence and competence don't always come together.

There are in fact only 4 possibilities :

1. First, there are incompetent people who lack self-esteem.
2. Then there are incompetent people who are very sure of themselves, very confident.
3. There are also very competent people who lack self-esteem and confidence.
4. Finally there are competent people who are confident and sure of themselves.

For people who are both incompetent and lacking self-esteem, the first step towards confidence could be developing competence. Competence is not a necessity for confidence but it sure can help. If confidence does not improve as their competence does then see what I suggest in the next paragraphs.

Personally I feel like people who are confident but incompetent could do with developing competence too, although from a self-esteem perspective they don't need to.

For people who are competent but lacking confidence, the solution is to focus on the positive aspects of their life. These people are perfectionists so they find it hard to believe that they are good enough because they know they they always want to be and do better. Accepting things the way they are and acknowledging the positive aspects of your situation is a good solution. If you are in this case, then be happy that there is room for improvement. Realize that your competence is real and that your path in life is an adventure from good to better. This does not mean you should pretend not to see your weaknesses or put up with lower standards. It just means you face what is and appreciate what is good about it, as well as being aware of the bad stuff.

People who are both competent and confident, shine and are often admired by others. They are great at what they do. Their competence is improved by their confidence which enables them to act fast and without hesitating. This is the kind of person I want to be. This is the kind of person we all deserve to become.

In order to do so, let's take the time to develop confidence and competence. Striving for quality is great, but what is the point if we don't enjoy ourselves along the way. And past a certain level of competence, confidence is necessary for the quality of what you do and are to keep improving.