Working with what I see in the mirrors.

As I mentioned before, I consider every experience in the outside world to be somewhat of a reflection of my inner reality. I noticed that when I really want something to change in my life, it generally that means there is something that I really want to change in myself but I just haven’t noticed yet.

Here are 3 things that I see in the mirrors of life experience and I would like to change : bad or ineffective communication, a feeling of not being invited and wanting more money.

Communicating.

In the last few weeks I have met several people who don’t seem to be that good a communicating. I don’t know if this is true or not, and to be honest it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, what matters is that I perceived it. That perception is giving me some valuable insights into what’s going on in my inner world. I perceive that these people are not able to be completely open and comfortable about expressing their feelings. It’s not that they are dishonest or ill-meaning, it’s just that for some reason they aren’t comfortable, or not able to be totally honest.

I figure that this means something important. If I am recognizing this weakness in other people then this is likely to be one of my greatest weaknesses at this time.

Now I know this I am now on the lookout. I am committed to keeping a close watch over my thoughts and feelings and I am going to make a point of being open and completely clear about my feelings at all times from now on.

When I want something I am going to ask for it clearly and accept other people’s response entirely. Whether or not I get the answer I wanted, I am here to deal with it ! That is what life is all about.

Not getting invited.

The other day I was climbing a hill in Los Angeles to see the sunset, and thinking about this situation when I had met and a pretty girl in a bar a few days before. I was recalling the situation and asking myself how I had felt. My conclusion is that I felt like I wanted her to invite me into her world. I felt slightly frustrated that she didn’t. Then it hit me : if she was interested in me then there is a pretty high chance that she was having similar feelings.

The to improve on this is simple: start doing what you would like the other person to do. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world” ! In this case I need to start inviting people into my world ! I need to open up and share ! The times I have done it it’s been amazing, so “why not do it all the time?” asks the mirror...

Money.

So I want more money, that is the feeling. I decide to look further and ask myself : what for ?

I want more money so that I can buy a couple of things (a new laptop, some plane tickets), and also so I don’t have to think about having enough money to sustain myself in the future. Why do I not want to think about the future? Because I don’t have a crystal clear intention that is driving me in a specific direction. If I did, I would be busy creatively finding ways to get there and I would not be worrying about it.

OK, how can I organize all this information in a way that’s useful to me?

Let’s take a closer look at the approach I used when talking about being invited :

In terms of money, what do I want from the world, that I can bring to the world - right now?

Step 1 : What do I want ?

I want a constant flow, an abundant supply that I trust will fulfill my every need and give me a sense of comfort and security.

Step 2 : How can I bring this to the world ?

By adopting a definite purpose !

Adopting a definite purpose will make me focus on the present and knowing that I am committed to this entirely provides a strong sense of inner security.

I came to terms with this thanks to a book I am reading at the moment called “What I wish I knew when I was 20” by Tina Seelig. She explains in one of the later chapters that “trying is a cop out” either you do something or you don’t do it. And “trying to do it” is an excuse for not doing it !

If I have a crystal clear intention of what I want to achieve, then I will have the drive, I will bring a constant flow of energy into the world every day, my motivation will be abundant and endless, I will not doubt it unless I doubt whether or not I want the things I am chasing.

The Recipe for getting the most out of the mirrors.

So this is the step by step process I have come up with for dealing with messages I get from life’s many mirrors :

Work out what you want.

Identify what you dislike / want to change. Then re-word it into what you want, what experiences you are after !

Work out how you can give what you want to the world.

Work out how you can “be the change you want to see in the world” !

Do it !!

Dont "try to do it" (that’s an excuse for not giving it everything you’ve got), either you do something or you don’t do it (excuses or no excuses), decide what you want and DO IT !!

Integrity Checks

I reckon it’s a good idea to periodically check that you are doing everything you can to create the life you want for yourself.

Most people do this once a year on new year’s eve. I find I benefit from doing it as often as I remember. Probably once a day is ideal.

Generally I sit down and review everything that’s going on in my life and I usually find a few “lose ends” : things that I have been putting aside, not doing, leaving for later, or just ignoring because it seemed more convenient that way.

The interesting thing is that if I deal with them I feel better. It’s like keeping things unfinished like that consumes your energy/resources even though it doesn’t involve you doing anything. Dealing with lose ends will free up loads of your energy and enable you to focus on other things, things that are important to you.

Doing an integrity check is really easy first make a list of your lose ends, then of your top priorities, and then make a list of how you can take action now. Once your done, take a deep breath and set about your lose ends. Then take action in the ways that are available to you now to move towards your top priorities.

It’s so simple it seems obvious but we nevertheless often forget to go about things in this way and end up sabotaging our own dreams for lack of organization (design) and by forgetting to take effective action.

Here is my integrity check for today, to give you an example of what I’m talking about :

18/09/2011 integrity check

List of my lose ends :

• do the dishes.
• clean house / put away gear.
• see Tristan about his website.

List of my current top priorities :

• Become a great musician, and enjoy playing and writing songs every day. This includes having top vocals skills, guitar skills, learning keys and bass and drums over the years, mixing / producing skills. The most important is the playing / singing - in terms of personal satisfaction.
• Travel, have fun, overcome my limits, grow into a person who is capable of doing more things. Creating myself a life with more love and less fear.
• Earn a lot of money, earn enough that I can buy anything that money can buy as soon as I want it, and on the way learn to be aware of what I really want. Perhaps through using the web and my skills therein for promoting my music creating websites for other people or other ideas.

How I intend to take action today :

• sing+practice for 2hours+
• record some of the new songs for sacem.
• visit Tristan and talk webdesign.
• write post about integrity checks for twiwytii as a reminder to self to do them often (this is it)
• write for prana web blog (to improve SEO)
• work on transag project

Avoiding what you fear - or not as the case may be.

These past months there is something I have been confronted with over and over again. It seems to me that when ever you try to avoid the things you fear you end up aiming straight for them despite any amount of effort you put in to steer in the opposite direction.

In relationships this is really obvious. For example I have met a good number of people who will hide the truth from another person in order to not hurt that person’s feelings.

The result however, is that most of the time (probably all the time) that person ends up finding out what ever was being hidden from them, at which point they are very hurt to have not been told about it.

So by avoiding speaking about it for fear of hurting them, they hurt them more than if they had spoken despite the fear.

I am willing to feel the fear and do it anyway in every single situation like this that I encounter.

Have you noticed this pattern ? I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences in a comment below.

Dear Life, Please can I have ...

Dear life,

Please provide me with opportunities to be what I want to be, to do what I want to do and to go where I want to go. Please can you provide me with what I need to experience the things I want to experience. I promise you that I am taking action and that I will take action to make my dreams come true.

Here are the things I most want right now :

I want to have enough money at my disposal to do everything that I want to do, when ever I want to do it, without hesitating.

I want to have ever more creativity and ever more success in channeling my creativity into my art and ever more success in sharing that art with as many people as I can.

I want to have pleasurable sexual adventures frequently : I want to reach the point where I am no longer frustrated when I hear others tell me about their exciting sex lives because I myself am happy and totally fulfilled in this respect.

I want to be healthy and strong : physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I want to be able to access my strength when I most need to.

I want to be ever more in touch with my true, deepest, innermost feelings - at all times - in all situations.

I want to dare to do new things everyday. I want to always dare to go a little further than I ever went before and to taste that great feeling that comes from daring.

I want to share with others freely, to give and to receive easily and with much pleasure and with little or no ego.

I want to change, I want to learn, I want to grow.

Please provide me with these opportunities Life. I am committed to keeping my eyes open so that I see clearly when they turn up. I know what I want so well that I will definitely seize them with joy and enthusiasm when they do.

Thank you for everything.

Robin