There is a natural energy pattern that can be found in all lifeforms and that manifests as a strong desire to grow. Sometimes it appears to be a desire to grow in size, like for plants or trees that grow taller and taller, stretching upwards to reach the sunlight. Other times it is a desire to grow in number like when animals want to reproduce. As living beings we humans also have a form of this energy within us. I think in humans it manifests as a desire to “be more”. Therefore it might be that today’s crazy and unhealthy consumer society stems from a natural desire to grow. I think this is the case and I think that Victor Lebow does too based on his quote posted by Brainstormy.
In my perception of things, the desire to grow is not therefore to be blamed. If we were to acknowledge this desire and seriously set about fulfilling it, it would become clear that it is our greatest friend and ally. But as long as we are not aware of it or pretend it is not there it will appear to be our greatest enemy.
Wanting to “be more” is not a problem or a mistake.
The mistake is to look outside of ourselves for ways in which we can be more. If we look inside ourselves for solutions instead, we would find them and be moving towards ever greater states of balance and harmony - instead of moving further and further into chaos.
Work on an inner level, with your thoughts and emotions and feelings. Let this energy within you, this “drive to be more”, serve as a stimulant for developing the aspects of yourself you wish to grow. This “drive to be more” can help you move beyond your comfort zone on a daily basis.
And moving beyond your comfort zone can help you in many ways such as to :
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Change old habits.
Changing old habits can require a lot of will power, if you can feel your desire to grow/change very strongly though, it can become very easy and natural. Changing an old habit involves moving out of ones comfort zone for a while until that comfort zone changes shape and adapts to your new behavior pattern.
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Overcome fear.
"Fortune sides with those who dare" (CHUCK GALLOZZI)
Many times people avoid doing things because they are frightened of doing them. Fear is a big barrier for many of us. It stops us from doing many things which would be worth doing if only we dared. I have found that when I really want to grow, when I can really feel my desire to “be more” as a human being, then I am not as frightened anymore.
My desire to grow is strong enough that I take every risk which is worth taking and this makes things (i.e. my projects) move very fast for me !
Moving out of your comfort zone is the healthiest way I know of expressing the natural desire to grow that is in all of us. It is through through dealing with inner challenges that we can grow and truly “become more” as human beings.
You need to believe in yourself. Confidence, your self-esteem is what you show others. And it is what determines how you interact with the world. If you are not confident you will miss opportunities, you don't enjoy the good things that you already have, and you probably won't make the best of the situations you find yourself in and the challenges you are faced with.
There are many ressources that give ways to build your self-confidence available but I find the following very simple facts to be most helpful in developing self-esteem and confidence.
Here is a key piece of knowledge :
Confidence and trust don't come in stages.
Either you are confident or you are not confident. Either you trust or you don't trust.
I find that knowing this makes the choice for confidence and high self esteem easier. Why ? Because it is a yes / choice and there are only two possible answers rather than an infinity.
Another interesting to realize is that confidence and competence don't always come together.
There are in fact only 4 possibilities :
- First, there are incompetent people who lack self-esteem.
- Then there are incompetent people who are very sure of themselves, very confident.
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There are also very competent people who lack self-esteem and confidence.
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Finally there are competent people who are confident and sure of themselves.
For people who are both incompetent and lacking self-esteem, the first step towards confidence could be developing competence. Competence is not a necessity for confidence but it sure can help. If confidence does not improve as their competence does then see what I suggest in the next paragraphs.
Personally I feel like people who are confident but incompetent could do with developing competence too, although from a self-esteem perspective they don't need to.
For people who are competent but lacking confidence, the solution is to focus on the positive aspects of their life. These people are perfectionists so they find it hard to believe that they are good enough because they know they they always want to be and do better. Accepting things the way they are and acknowledging the positive aspects of your situation is a good solution. If you are in this case, then be happy that there is room for improvement. Realize that your competence is real and that your path in life is an adventure from good to better. This does not mean you should pretend not to see your weaknesses or put up with lower standards. It just means you face what is and appreciate what is good about it, as well as being aware of the bad stuff.
People who are both competent and confident, shine and are often admired by others. They are great at what they do. Their competence is improved by their confidence which enables them to act fast and without hesitating. This is the kind of person I want to be. This is the kind of person we all deserve to become.
In order to do so, let's take the time to develop confidence and competence. Striving for quality is great, but what is the point if we don't enjoy ourselves along the way. And past a certain level of competence, confidence is necessary for the quality of what you do and are to keep improving.
Affirmative statements have power.
We have all heard of curses and blessings. They work if you believe in them. If you can find a way to say something that makes you believe it then it can have a powerful positive effect on your life.
Also there are moments and states of consciousness in which you are more receptive to affirmations. In general, the more relaxed and at peace you are the better they are going to work.
I have decided to start my day with some positive affirmations. I say them before I get out of bed and continue to say them in my head for some of the morning. I find it almost surprising how good it can make me feel.
The advantage of this practice is that it helps you lay a positive foundation on which you build your day.
If you basis for decision making is "Life is an adventure and it's fun" you will make very different choices than if it is Life is hard and pointless". In the first case, your attention will be drawn to the positive aspects in every situation and this will help you find solutions and create success. On the other hand if your underlying thought pattern is that life is hard your attention will be drawn to the problematic aspects of your reality rather than the positive ones.
Many people advocate the use of recordings which play you affirmations while you sleep. I am not sure that this is the best way to go about it. I think that doing it consciously probably works better.
Designing your Affirmations
Here are some tips for designing effective positive affirmations.
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They must be said in the positive. For example say "I am wealthy in every way" rather than "I don't have any money problems." This is because your unconscious only hears the ideas and ignores negations. Therefore the first version tells it you are wealthy and the second version tells it you have money problems.
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Be specific. For example "I have more than enough money to buy everything I want" is better than "I have lots of money".
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Be short and get straight to the point.
- Have an emotional element to them. When you say an affirmation, imagine that it is already true and feel how that makes you feel. You want to say affirmations with your whole being.
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Phrase in the present tense.
You can find some examples of in this (good) article about positive affirmations.
Avoiding negative thinking altogether
What is the point in spending half an hour repeating affirmations to yourself in the morning if you are not going to monitor your thinking throughout the rest of the day? It probably will help anyway, but if you really want results (to change your beliefs significantly) then you should become aware of what you are thinking all of the time and make sure that it's positive !
Having realized that you have to know what you want in order to get it I decided to write down a clear list of all the things I want in Life. Here it is.
Here are the things I want in life !
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Money and Wealth
I want to have more than enough money to pay for everything I need, when I need it. I am willing to have more than enough of everything at all times. I am willing to do things that add value to the world and to other peoples lives.
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Time and Freedom
I already have a lot of time, and I am grateful for this. I want to remain free to decide what I do with my time. I want to use the time I have in ways which are both more efficient and more pleasurable.
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Peace and Health
I am willing to be more peaceful and relaxed in my everyday activities. I am willing to create and maintain healthy relationships in all areas of my life.
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Happiness and Integrity
I am willing to enjoy every moment. I am willing to make every single experience one of either surrender, enjoyment or enthusiasm. I am willing to be completely honest with myself and to maintain a high level of integrity in all situations.
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Adventure and Fearlessness
I want to grow. I want to increase the number of things I can do without fear. I want to become comfortable in more and more situations. In order to do this I want to challenge myself daily in many ever-changing and exciting ways. I welcome every opportunity to change and explore new horizons.
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Success
I am willing to creatively pursue my goals and to enjoy every step of the way to achieving them.
Now I know what I want, I have opened up the possibilities for it to come to me.
I believe writing a list like this is very useful. It can help us to focus and it makes you realize what you already have and be grateful for it !!!
Do you have a life wish list? Leave a comment and share it here !
