Power Vs. Force

A friend of mine recently gave me a cool book called Power vs Force by David Hawkins which I am now reading.

Although I was already aware that for instance cooperation can replace competition and turn a win/lose situation into a win/win situation, I sometimes lose sight of the fact that there are always two different types of approach to any problem : one that will make you happy and one that won’t.

The last time I heard Force vs Power was when I was taking singing lessons with Per Bristow at the singing zone (I wonder if Per read this book). Per explains that when you are forceful with your voice, there is always a necessary compensation (you engage other non-vocal muscles that don’t serve). And he encourages the use of Power rather than of force for better vocal results. While I understood the concept, I feel like I have not been applying it all the way in my life (and singing) yet.

This book is (re)opening my eyes to the fact that the Power vs Force choice is one that I need to make regarding every single aspect of life. Needless to say, I choose Power.

Being forceful, and experiencing resistance is tiring, painful and does not ever lead to success or happiness in the long run. It's rare that it does in the short run either. Surrendering to a higher power, moving with life rather than against life, is definitely where it’s at. That’s where I’m going.

About half way through the book, David Hawkins provides us with a list of behavior patterns put together in powerful (strong) / forceful (weak) pairs. Here are a few that stand out at me at the time of writing this (there are loads more in the book):

• Appreciative / Envious
• Aware / Preoccupied
• Being / Having
• Holistic / Analytic
• Honest / Legal
• Grateful / Indebted
• Excellent / Adequate
• Orderly / Confused
• Natural / Arteficial
• Humorous / Somber

I am writing this as a reminder to myself to chose power over force - always.

For today, I am going to focus on being appreciative, aware, holistic, honest, grateful, excellent, orderly, natural and humorous !

My New Year Resolutions for 2012

(I started writing this at the end of December, but I didn’t get round to tidying it up publishing it until now, better late than never !)

So as year 2011 comes to an end I feel it’s a good idea for me to review what went on this year, and to assess what I want to do with the year that’s coming.

Last year at this time I sat down with some friends and we wrote a list of our things we wanted for the new year.

It was an opportunity for me to review my life situation and decide I wanted to change. I am pleased to see that, as far as I can remember (I don’t have the list with me to look at) I have accomplished a good number of the things I had put on my list.

Here are some of things I know where on the list that have happened :

• A trip to California (that’s where I am now, I’ve been here for a little over a month and it’s amazing). 
• I wanted to develop and strengthen a positive loving and compassionate attitude towards myself. Last year at this time I was feeling pretty depressed and unhappy, right now I feel like I am living the best time in my whole life. 
• I wanted money, I forget the wording that used but I wanted to have money to travel. I am travelling and I have enough money to do it. 
• I asked for a big big challenge that would make me grow. I got one (was sick for a few months), and I have grown a lot this past year, more than ever before.

Here are a couple of things I wanted then and I still want :

• A new Apple laptop computer to write and produce music with.
•  A means of earning decent money from doing music.

Last year I wrote my list on a piece of paper and ceremoniously sealed it with wax. This time I am going to write the list right here in this post. Here are the things I intend to do and I now hold as top priority - having learned what I’ve learned and done what I’ve done :

• Stay inspired at all times. A friend recently told me in a conversation about music “stay inspired all the time, it’s only thing you can control, and I mean ALL THE TIME”. The more it goes, the more I can see this is some of the best advice I ever got given. I can see clearly that staying inspired is the key to success, both in terms of external results and of personal satisfaction. When dealing with mistakes and failures, being inspired, or not so, will make all the difference. If I’m inspired, when faced with a failure I will push on and achieve great things. If I’m not inspired, I will probably give up. So I’m going to stay inspired and never give up aiming higher and enjoying the journey. 
•  Adopt a definite purpose regarding songwriting and music. I have a deep and passionate relationship with music. However there are times when it’s good and times when it’s frustrating and painful. I want to learn to keep it good at all times and to build up positive momentum writing pop songs, electronic music, and becoming a great vocalist. I will do what it takes to allow myself to do this. 
• Strengthen my sense of inner security and my compassionate and loving attitude and towards myself, towards all beings of this world and all the beings of all the other worlds. I have strengthenned this a lot in the past year and I am enjoying the results every day. I am committed to going further in the same direction.
• Go to Haiti and help my friends who have started an orphanage there. Give part of my time (one month of this year) to those who most need it. (I already did this in February). 
• Increase my income so that I am able to have a home of my own when I want to, and so that I can travel as much as I want when I feel like it. 
• Exercise regularly and get fitter than I have ever been before.
•  Laugh and smile everyday. 
• Say thank you and show appreciation for everything and every person I encounter. Embrace and learn from the whole of my life experience and be mindful to not “sweep the dirt under the carpet”.

Until next time, I wish you all the very best !

Working with what I see in the mirrors.

As I mentioned before, I consider every experience in the outside world to be somewhat of a reflection of my inner reality. I noticed that when I really want something to change in my life, it generally that means there is something that I really want to change in myself but I just haven’t noticed yet.

Here are 3 things that I see in the mirrors of life experience and I would like to change : bad or ineffective communication, a feeling of not being invited and wanting more money.

Communicating.

In the last few weeks I have met several people who don’t seem to be that good a communicating. I don’t know if this is true or not, and to be honest it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, what matters is that I perceived it. That perception is giving me some valuable insights into what’s going on in my inner world. I perceive that these people are not able to be completely open and comfortable about expressing their feelings. It’s not that they are dishonest or ill-meaning, it’s just that for some reason they aren’t comfortable, or not able to be totally honest.

I figure that this means something important. If I am recognizing this weakness in other people then this is likely to be one of my greatest weaknesses at this time.

Now I know this I am now on the lookout. I am committed to keeping a close watch over my thoughts and feelings and I am going to make a point of being open and completely clear about my feelings at all times from now on.

When I want something I am going to ask for it clearly and accept other people’s response entirely. Whether or not I get the answer I wanted, I am here to deal with it ! That is what life is all about.

Not getting invited.

The other day I was climbing a hill in Los Angeles to see the sunset, and thinking about this situation when I had met and a pretty girl in a bar a few days before. I was recalling the situation and asking myself how I had felt. My conclusion is that I felt like I wanted her to invite me into her world. I felt slightly frustrated that she didn’t. Then it hit me : if she was interested in me then there is a pretty high chance that she was having similar feelings.

The to improve on this is simple: start doing what you would like the other person to do. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world” ! In this case I need to start inviting people into my world ! I need to open up and share ! The times I have done it it’s been amazing, so “why not do it all the time?” asks the mirror...

Money.

So I want more money, that is the feeling. I decide to look further and ask myself : what for ?

I want more money so that I can buy a couple of things (a new laptop, some plane tickets), and also so I don’t have to think about having enough money to sustain myself in the future. Why do I not want to think about the future? Because I don’t have a crystal clear intention that is driving me in a specific direction. If I did, I would be busy creatively finding ways to get there and I would not be worrying about it.

OK, how can I organize all this information in a way that’s useful to me?

Let’s take a closer look at the approach I used when talking about being invited :

In terms of money, what do I want from the world, that I can bring to the world - right now?

Step 1 : What do I want ?

I want a constant flow, an abundant supply that I trust will fulfill my every need and give me a sense of comfort and security.

Step 2 : How can I bring this to the world ?

By adopting a definite purpose !

Adopting a definite purpose will make me focus on the present and knowing that I am committed to this entirely provides a strong sense of inner security.

I came to terms with this thanks to a book I am reading at the moment called “What I wish I knew when I was 20” by Tina Seelig. She explains in one of the later chapters that “trying is a cop out” either you do something or you don’t do it. And “trying to do it” is an excuse for not doing it !

If I have a crystal clear intention of what I want to achieve, then I will have the drive, I will bring a constant flow of energy into the world every day, my motivation will be abundant and endless, I will not doubt it unless I doubt whether or not I want the things I am chasing.

The Recipe for getting the most out of the mirrors.

So this is the step by step process I have come up with for dealing with messages I get from life’s many mirrors :

Work out what you want.

Identify what you dislike / want to change. Then re-word it into what you want, what experiences you are after !

Work out how you can give what you want to the world.

Work out how you can “be the change you want to see in the world” !

Do it !!

Dont "try to do it" (that’s an excuse for not giving it everything you’ve got), either you do something or you don’t do it (excuses or no excuses), decide what you want and DO IT !!

Integrity Checks

I reckon it’s a good idea to periodically check that you are doing everything you can to create the life you want for yourself.

Most people do this once a year on new year’s eve. I find I benefit from doing it as often as I remember. Probably once a day is ideal.

Generally I sit down and review everything that’s going on in my life and I usually find a few “lose ends” : things that I have been putting aside, not doing, leaving for later, or just ignoring because it seemed more convenient that way.

The interesting thing is that if I deal with them I feel better. It’s like keeping things unfinished like that consumes your energy/resources even though it doesn’t involve you doing anything. Dealing with lose ends will free up loads of your energy and enable you to focus on other things, things that are important to you.

Doing an integrity check is really easy first make a list of your lose ends, then of your top priorities, and then make a list of how you can take action now. Once your done, take a deep breath and set about your lose ends. Then take action in the ways that are available to you now to move towards your top priorities.

It’s so simple it seems obvious but we nevertheless often forget to go about things in this way and end up sabotaging our own dreams for lack of organization (design) and by forgetting to take effective action.

Here is my integrity check for today, to give you an example of what I’m talking about :

18/09/2011 integrity check

List of my lose ends :

• do the dishes.
• clean house / put away gear.
• see Tristan about his website.

List of my current top priorities :

• Become a great musician, and enjoy playing and writing songs every day. This includes having top vocals skills, guitar skills, learning keys and bass and drums over the years, mixing / producing skills. The most important is the playing / singing - in terms of personal satisfaction.
• Travel, have fun, overcome my limits, grow into a person who is capable of doing more things. Creating myself a life with more love and less fear.
• Earn a lot of money, earn enough that I can buy anything that money can buy as soon as I want it, and on the way learn to be aware of what I really want. Perhaps through using the web and my skills therein for promoting my music creating websites for other people or other ideas.

How I intend to take action today :

• sing+practice for 2hours+
• record some of the new songs for sacem.
• visit Tristan and talk webdesign.
• write post about integrity checks for twiwytii as a reminder to self to do them often (this is it)
• write for prana web blog (to improve SEO)
• work on transag project